This Way
by Bardic Jester
Summary: Set in the AU of episode 26. Over three days, Shinji's relationship with his childhood friend Asuka changes forever thanks to the new girl Rei. Shinji learns the hard way that fragile things break easily, especially hearts. Asuka/Shinji
1. This Way

AN- So this was originally supposed to be a One Shot. The chapters may feel a little different from another because each were written years after the ones before. Enjoy!

Shinji sat at the table staring absently at his food. The room seemed to surround him, choking the air which he so desperately needed to survive. The meal was set and all those who needed to be there were, yet there seemed to be two black holes of nothingness on opposite sides. The walls had caved in and were starting to crush Shinji. This was a night he neither, wanted to be here or wanted to be alone.

The day had gone by smoothly in the beginning. There had been no plans, no falls and, no tears. There was something that had lingered on Shinji's wall though, when he had awoken. It had breathed in the cold and only exhaled the warm air as if it were a living exhaust pipe. He had been dreaming of pandemonium and anarchy, without any true basis of reality to use as foundation.

Then his body was shaken by the sound of his alarm clock. It was a small one, created in the design of a Penguin. It had originally been his teacher's but Shinji won it off her when she lost a bet on how many students would show up to class one day. Shinji slowly moved from his resting ground and hit the alarm clock over the head harshly. He then repeatedly did it three more times, in five minute intervals.

When the ground had truly begun to shake, Shinji had been like a man standing on top of a small platform, which was on a ten foot aluminum pole. The worst place to be during an earthquake, or Armageddon, whichever one wished to call it.

Asuka grabbed him and shook him like he was a rag doll. She was calling his name and was probably saying something about how stupid he was. He took it in strides though and threw the covers off of himself to quickly get out of bed. This plan of action seemed to be futile as he had miscalculated something.

Asuka slapped him on the face and started yelling about how much of a pervert he was. She was laughing a little though, as she had made a mental note on the fact that this seemed to be happening more frequently then not. Shinji jumped up and ran into the bathroom. Asuka's first thought was to follow him, but decided instead to get his stuff ready, which seemed to be covering the floor.

Shinji often wondered why his mother always let Asuka in like that. Why couldn't his mother just wake him up. It truly didn't seem to be too hard of a task. He washed his face off with some soap and he began to look at himself in the mirror. You get very self conscious when you get woken up half naked everyday by a beautiful girl.

He had quickly gotten out and he ate breakfast like it was going to be his last. The both of them had run out the door so quickly that he had barely enough time to get his footing. Asuka was laughing for no reason, yet she seemed incapable of talking. The silence rang in his ears. He was tempted to listen to music but she would probably take offense to it.

They got into the class a couple of minutes early. Shinji just discussed with Kensuke and Touji about the normal daily affairs. The photo ring the three of them were running had been moving along slowly. They were trying to compete with the two other ones that had found there way onto the school grounds. They had had many problems about getting someone to take most of the pictures, as Touji would be easy to spot and Shinji always seemed to have Asuka not far behind. Kensuke was the most likely to take the photos but he didn't seemed very interested.

Asuka was chatting away freely with Hikari, not truly getting anywhere but the two of them seemed to like just running their mouths off into the sky, waiting for them to fall back down. The rest of the class was pretty silent and nothing was happening.

After their teacher Misato made a very, unprofessional entry into her class, the days events started to unfold. Shinji was chatting on his laptop about things with Touji when all of the sudden someone else started to instant message to him. Being very surprised he looked around the room wondering who this could be. After giving up, he started to talk back. Honestly he was surprised; no one ever took notice to him. When it came to the three stooges Touji was the out spoken leader and was often the one to talk to when someone asked the three of them a question. The only other person who took notice to Shinji was Asuka. There really wasn't anyone else who cared about his existence. He was pretty invisible.

When the class was almost over, the person asked Shinji to join her (he was almost sure she was girl) outside during the break between classes. Shinji asked her at the end what her name was and that he honestly didn't know who he was talking to. When he sent that he heard a distinguishable laugh from behind him, he bit his lip and looked at the screen. "Rei" was all that it said. "Shit" Shinji swore to himself. This was the one girl he did not want this to be. Ever since her "interesting" first class Asuka had acted like she was an annoying bitch who was full of herself. If Asuka saw him talking to Rei, she would skin him alive.

One disease Shinji seemed to suffer from though was the one of honour. Once he had given his word he would not back down. This semi-suicidal mentality had already gotten him into some trouble but he still stood by it. Sometimes he viewed himself as a masochist and other times he just thought of himself as a slave to routine. Neither of which, upon further consolation, he would deem to be a good thing.

When the break started and Shinji escaped the sight of Asuka, he made his way outside. He was surprised to see that girl already there. Then again he was turning around every two seconds expecting to see one of the scariest things in the world, an angry Asuka. Rei was twiddling her legs in an abnormal fashion, and she seemed to be whistling to herself. Since her arrival she had seldom made any friends and seemed to enjoy her own company more then that of people. This seemed alien to Shinji who had been alone most of his life, and would have jumped on any chance to escape from it. Something he did.

When she saw him, Rei gave Shinji one hell of a scare. She got up and hugged him. Shinji almost immediately pulled away and took a few steps back. "Sorry, that was uncalled for," Rei said, realizing that Shinji was not comfortable in that situation. Shinji was about to apologize, even if it was for nothing. Rei cut him off though, which Shinji was a little happy about since he didn't think that that was the right thing to do. "I want to say sorry for that whole mishap on the first day. I went a little overboard. I was just so surprised when I saw you in the class."

Shinji stared at her, there was something up. Being with Asuka for extentded periods of time taught him how to know if a girl is just saying something without there being a meaning. "Well, I am sorry too, I shouldn't have been running and well, sorry" Shinji said. He kicked himself mentally though because he had just done what he was trying not to. Seeing the angry in Shinji's eyes Rei laughed to herself slightly.

The two of them continued discussing things, things that Shinji hadn't really talked much about with other people. Then again, Shinji never really talked to anyone. He had once decided that when he got older he would become a mute, just because it would be easier that way.

At the end of the break, the two of them walked back into class, slowly, as if they were ants coming back from carrying something many times their weight. When they got slightly close to the class Shinji said something about how he had forgotten something. Rei stared at him weirdly and just shrugged her shoulders. Shinji turned around and hid around a corner. He waited until no one could say that the two of them were walking together somewhere.

Shinji arrived right before the bell rung and sighed inwardly; freeing himself from the stress he had just built up inside of himself. He sat at his desk and opened his laptop. The class was mostly uneventful and peaceful, that is until another strange person started to talk to him. Shinji smiled to himself, he seemed to be popular today, or at least by his standards. The person wrote the message "Aren't you and Asuka together?" Shinji quickly turned around trying to see who the hell was talking to him. He quickly responded "No!".

Then another unexpected thing happened. The person wrote "I saw you and Rei! Be more careful, because Asuka didn't respond the same way." Shinji froze. His mind shut down and his lungs lost all of their air. As if he had forgotten how to breath Shinji tried to eat the air around himself. How could this be happening? Who was this person? There was no way that Asuka would ever say that, so he knew the person was bluffing, yet the person seemed to care about Asuka's and Shinji's relationship enough to try to rule out any person threatening it. He breathed in deeply when he figured this out. It had seemed to take some of the pressure off of him.

When lunch came around, the three stooges were eating at the balcony (or roof, I can't remember which it was in the show). Shinji was making a deal to buy all Asuka pictures from the ring, and a couple Rei ones too. The other two had no troubles about the Asuka thing, Touji was happy when Shinji mentioned Rei but Kensuke seemed a little troubled.  
Then without warning, disaster stroke; Rei walked towards them. She was pretty close too, when the three noticed. Shinji panicked, didn't this girl have any common sense. If Asuka saw, then it would mean the death of all three. Shinji's first idea was jumping and praying, but he decided that would just make him look a little suspicious. So he ruled that idea out. Touji, when he noticed he practically ran as fast as he could without looking to obvious. Kensuke noticed too late and was stuck where he was sitting.

"Hey Shinji!" Rei said in this ultra happy voice. Both Shinji's and Kensuke's mouths dropped to the ground. They couldn't believe what they were seeing. She walked up to Shinji and hugged him. Yep, she was a hugger. Shinji was too surprised to do anything and so the hug lasted a little longer then expected. Unlucky for Shinji though Asuka and Hikari were walking that way. Shinji was so mortified yet he couldn't move. As if the gods intervened though, Hikari saw first, gave Shinji a mean stare and diverted Asuka in another direction, and Asuka never noticed. Things clicked and Shinji realized that it was Hikari who had threatened him.

Shinji then diverted his attention towards Rei. "Hello! How is it going?" Shinji asked forcing the words to come out.

"Fine, fine," Rei said letting go and taking a couple steps back.

"You want to go back on the ground and talk?" Shinji said, getting a little more comfortable. Rei muttered an agreement and the two of them left the balcony. Leaving a still flabbergasted Kensuke sitting in the same spot.

The two of them talked about life and how everything is going. They discussed music, movies, hobbies and Shinji really felt like there was something between the two of them. He had never really met anyone so similar to him. What scared him though was that Rei was getting comfortable, very comfortable. She was moving closer and closer to him. Until finally she was practically on top of him. A position Shinji found most comfortable. Asuka wasn't one for human contact. Then the bell rung and the two of them got up. Rei then did something that was totally unexpected. She kissed Shinji, just a little peck. Not really big enough to mean anything, except for the fact that it was Shinji's first kiss. Good lord was this Rei girl ever strange.

When the two of them got into class and sat down, Shinji was just hoping to put his head down and sleep. Instead when he opened his laptop he got a scary message. "What the fuck! Why the hell did you do that? I saved you the first time but I wasn't able to the second time! You are a royal dumbass you know!" Shinji quickly turned around to see Hikari steaming angry. Although, surprisingly enough, Asuka seemed completely normal.

Shinji swallowed hard.

At the end of the day, Shinji barely caught up to Asuka, to walk home like usual. When he had left the school she wasn't waiting for him like usual and had already started to walk home. Surprisingly enough, she was still acting normal, as if Shinji wasn't there. When he caught up to her he asked "What is wrong?" To which he received no reply. Shinji then had continued to repeat this all the way until they got into their apartment building to no avail. When they started to climb the stairs, the silence was killing Shinji. When they got half way up, in the middle of a flight of stairs, Asuka sat down.

Then tears just started to build up in her eyes. "What, do I have to flash you my panties too to get you to kiss me?" She asked. This set Shinji totally aback and he almost fell. Then she actually raised her skirt and flashed him her panties. Which almost killed Shinji. Then she stood up and was acting as if she was about to kiss him. Which Shinji stopped mid-way. Asuka just fell back down and started crying.

"What am I not good enough for you? I did all that bitch did!" Asuka cried. She then put her head into her hands. Shinji stared at her for a couple of seconds until she just started to run away. Shinji tried to stop her but it didn't help.

As if this day couldn't get any worse the days previously decided plans included Asuka coming over to Shinji's for supper.

When Asuka entered through the door, there was no talking. She seemed to be fine, excluded slightly swollen eyes. The meal was pretty silent and uneventful. Shinji's parent's kept trying to talk to either one of the two but was receiving no replies.

Finally at the end of the meal the two of them went into the living room to watch some television like the usually did on these sorts of occasions. Again all it was just silence, as if the both of them had forgotten their voice boxes somewhere else. Finally the both of them sat on the couch. After a minute or two Asuka moved and started to lean on Shinji.

Shinji swallowed hard.

AN- That is all folks, hope you enjoyed. Don't forget to review!


	2. Deviation

AN- Well, I was planning on having the story just be a one shot, but since so many people kept asking me to add more, I thought I would write one more chapter. I was planning on having this only be around 2500 words, but I just kept going. In my opinion it is not as good as the first one, but hopefully you'll like it too.

Shinji's dream had upset him more then he would have liked. It was a shame though, since he didn't remember what the dream had actually been about or what had happened. All he knew was that it had disturbed him for reasons which he was unsure about. He looked at his alarm clock to see that darn penguin looking at him. As if it had sensed his negative thoughts, his alarm went off at that exact second.

Swearing to himself he walked to it and beat down on it's head. Shinji never quite knew why he had so much discontent for this little thing but he knew if there was a penguin hunt similar to the seal hunt, he would jump on board.

He didn't usually actually get up on time, after the first ring, Shinji found himself lacking anything to do. He would usually just sleep through the first three or four rings, in fact then Asuka would usually wake him up. The darned alarm clock never really did anything.

Shinji put on some clothes, praying that Asuka was not going to just randomly open the door. He left his room and walked to his dining room. Well it was more of just an extension to his kitchen. His parents were both in the room which really kind of annoyed Shinji. Why couldn't either of them wake him up? Both of them got up before he did and neither of them left before he had too.

They were both lazy Shinji had decided.

As he sat down neither of his parents seemed to notice him. His father had his face buried behind a newspaper and his mother was fixing some food at the counter. Neither of them were very eccentric people, which is, in a way, the place that Shinji had always assumed his subtleness and shyness came from.

It took a minute but finally Shinji's mother noticed him at the table. She had just finished whatever she had been preparing and was about to serve it to his father, but stopped halfway, gave it to Shinji and sat down next to him.

"Honey," She started, but stopped right afterwards as if she was having a problem coming up with the exact words to say. Shinji had not really realised this though, he had started already to indulge himself with, what was almost his father's breakfast. "Is there something wrong with you and Asuka?" she asked staring as deeply into Shinji's soul; as much as Shinji could imagine someone being able to.

Shinji coughed a little bit as this had taken him by surprise, and had happened at the inopportune moment of him swallowing a gulp of food. He looked at her and quickly faked a smile "What do you mean?"

His mother, who could obviously see right through that just kind of, frowned a little bit. "It's just that, you two were acting quite peculiar yesterday." She passed for a couple of breathes. "And you did not stare into her eyes at any point; you usually consume yourself in them."

At this Shinji did not just cough, he plain choked for a couple of seconds. He really needed to work on his rhythm and when to swallow. He looked at his mother and was surprised to see concern in her face. His mother was good at reading people, Shinji never really knew how she did it, he tried though, to modest success. "There is nothing wrong mother," Shinji flatly lied.

His mother looked at him as if she was planning on saying something else, but she was interrupted. There was a subtle knock on the door. Shinji's mother seemed to be let down that they were not going to finish their conversation, but Shinji became even more uncomfortable.

When Shinji's mother opened the door Asuka was smiling, but just borderline, where she usually had a large one. The eating area was in complete view of the front door. Asuka's expression, when she saw Shinji there, turned extremely sour. Shinji's mother was the only one in view as well, to see her slight tears. Asuka quickly bowed her head, said a broken "Sorry," and ran down the hallway.

Shinji's mother looked back at Shinji with a very confused look on her face. Shinji just kind of shrugged his shoulders and tried to flash another of those fake smiles, but it was unsuccessful. He just hung his head for a while, until standing up and quickly running after Asuka.

Shinji could not quite differentiate the emotions that he was feeling. Was it pity, or something more? Asuka and he had been close for years. Though was it more out of necessity that Shinji stuck onto her. Was it because he literally had never, other then the stooges, been able to actually obtain another friend that he and Asuka had been so close?

It had always confused him a little though. Asuka could actually make other friends. Yet she had decided that no one in her world was more important to her than him. He knew she and Hikari were close, and that she had other friends too, but she never went out of her way to go to school with any of them.

Once Shinji had matured a bit after they had started being friends, he had thought that Asuka had been his friend for only one reason. She was a controlling person, and needed someone to control,

After a couple of minutes Shinji had not been able to catch up to her, for one simple reason. He had assumed that she had made her way to school. This was not the case though. As when Shinji finally got to school, her desk was empty. Though now he wouldn't have to be extremely sensitive to just how he was acting.

Most of the day had been pretty regular. Shinji had stayed in Ms. Misato's class for lunch and the two of them had just talked. She was a lot less of a teacher to Shinji, more of a sister.

The conversations had been light little exchanges. Most of the time she was complaining that her boyfriend was acting like a total dick the last couple of days. She never went into too much detail to truly understand the situation but just enough to paint a rough picture of what may have happened.

At the end of the day of school Shinji thanked every deity that he could think of for letting it be over. All that was going through his mind was getting home and sleeping all of his thoughts away. As he left the dark brown and intimidating doors his eyes surveyed the surrounding area. In every direction another kid going somewhere interesting seemed to intrude on the total calm that should and was usually going through the area.

Shinji started to walk in the direction of his house but with every single step his mind would get more and more engulfed in thought. Did he really want to go in that direction? What if Asuka saw him?

That escaped his mind pretty easily as he saw Asuka leaning against a pole just down the block. Shinji quickly surveyed the area for any kind of an escape. The road was overflowing with cars each going probably faster then they should have. With crossing the road as an unfortunately unfeasible passage to escape, Shinji bit his lip and was wondering whether or not just turning around and walking in the opposite direction was the best option.

When he turned around he saw the unmistakable figure of Rei, who must have been walking home as well, in his direction. If he turned around and Asuka saw him with her, even walking different directions, she would never forgive him.

Although even then, he didn't know if she was going to without that particular fuck up.

Shinji, without any other possible plan of action decided to just keep going forward any pray to which ever god was paying attention. Asuka was standing against a lamp pole that curved at the end, giving the illusion of a mourning figure. Shinji greatly felt for the thing. It looked like one of the more classical kinds, unlike all the ultra modern things which this city without a soul was filled with.

Asuka was still wearing her school uniform, as she was when she had gone to Shinji's place. This probably ruled out that she had gone home. She had never liked that uniform and given an opportunity would have probably changed out of it. Plus she always found that the skirt was too short, but kept shortening it so Shinji would always be staring at her. This was something Shinji always obliged.

She looked at her small wrist watch, as if obviously expecting him. Shinji wondered how she was hoping he was going to greet her. If he just continued bowing and saying that he was sorry, that wouldn't probably sit well with her. She always told him to grow some balls and stand straight when doing it.

He doubted she meant when talking to her in a situation like this.

As the gap finally disappeared between them Shinji decided that he had no choice but to greet her. Without any plan in his head, he just kind of decided to wing it. "Hey Asuka!" he greeted speeding up right up to her.

Her head never turned though, and her expression never turned into anything other then frightfully neutral. Shinji wondered why this was. When he was finally in ear shot Asuka barely muttered loud enough, but just enough for Shinji to make out the words. "Why did you look so scared when you first saw me?"

Shinji was taken aback and for the life of him, could just not get how that was possible. There was no way she could have seen him do that. Without any idea of a way to escape from this, Shinji finally just bit his lip, hung his head, and said that he was sorry.

Asuka's expression changed then, to one of fury. She grabbed him by the shoulders, turned one hundred and eighty degrees, and pinned him against the pole she had been leaning on. "You kiss another girl, you act like you don't need me at all, and then you resort to acting the way I always told you not to!" She was whispering in his ear this, but it had to be the loudest he had ever heard anybody whisper in his life. "Why are you so intent on doing this?" this time he looked straight into her eyes, that had the fury of a thousand suns.

It was the scariest thing he had ever seen.

Then, was also when he noticed Rei walk by, looking at the two of the peculiarly. Asuka, noticing Shinji's changed expression and that he was looking at something else, turned her head as well. The second she saw Rei her expression changed suddenly.

She with one arm grabbed Shinji's head and pulled him towards her. The other grabbed his hand and moved it to her ass. It was then that she kissed him, hard. Shinji was so surprised he couldn't think of anything to do but go along with it. They made out for a couple of seconds, till Rei was out of site.

When Shinji saw Asuka pull away he was surprised, they had barely been at it. He looked at her face expecting to see a smiling face, looking straight into his eyes. Shinji was let down a little bit. She wasn't looking at him at all. She was looking at the direction Rei had just been walking, with a smirk on her face. Like one she had when a devious plan had just come together, and Shinji just snapped.

And he slapped her in the face.

Asuka stared horrified at Shinji, but he didn't care. He pushed her off him as quickly as he could. He did it a little too hard though as she fell onto the side walk, still totally dumbfounded. "What the fuck was that?" he yelled, loudly, but that didn't matter to him, not then.

"You just decide to kiss me, to finally have human contact, not because you feel anything, just because you wanted to show another girl to stay away from 'your man!'" He yelled. He walked right up to her who now actually seemed scared, genuinely scared of him. "You question my loyalty only because I don't do everything you want me to! What about you? When was the last fucking time you didn't do something for me just out of kindness, just because you liked me?

"Every fucking time you do anything you act like you're looking after me! Like I'm your responsibility and that if it wasn't for you I would never be able to do anything!" Shinji's fury had barely in broken, but Asuka was crying now, she wasn't doing it subtly either. "You ever think that I am just a human being you want to be around, not some fucking burden you have to carry wherever you go.

"I am sick and tired of being pushed around by you. And this! This! I'm tired of being used by you. Just because you want some poor sap to control! Not because you. Not because you ever felt shit! This was the last time. No more. Just leave me the fuck alone.

"Bitch!"

and with that Shinji stormed off. He didn't help her up, or even looked back. In all honesty he did not really care.

He walked home without wasting a single second. Only when he got to his apartment building did he ever turn around. He was not surprised though that he saw nobody there. That was also the last thing he wanted to see. Life, he was sick of the idea of someone else. All he wanted was there only to be him, alone, with no one else.

All his life he had been afraid of being alone. That was all he had known though for so long. Every action he did ended with him alone. He was shy, and stayed to himself, never ventured out. Till all he knew was himself, where he was, and that alone was nicer.

That was when he met Asuka, who was over the top, out going more then anyone else Shinji had known and for some reason she had become obsessed with him. Always wanting to hang out with him, be near him, get him to change his ways; so she could be with him more.

It always seemed more like a game she was playing that she had never gotten bored of. No one could ever actually feel something for him. It was all just a lie. He was just another part of something that he had no control over, because a piece can't play the player.

He was sick of it. He was sick of it all! All he felt like doing was just closing himself into his own room and throwing away the key. It was safer there, it was quieter, he knew it was better, and most of all he couldn't get hurt there.

When he had entered his house there was no one there. There was a small message written on a ripped piece of paper on a counter in his kitchen but he didn't care. Nothing really mattered to him right now. All he could think about was his room, everything else in his apartment was just junk on the path to his room.

As he opened the door, his face changed, his emotions moved. He was finally safe, from this god forsaken world. Here though, all he could think about was what he had just done and how everything was ruined. Without anything knowledge of what to do, he just fell apart. All of his support was gone, his legs gave way and he fell to the ground. Without anything else to do he cried for about two hours and after that he fell asleep on his bed for another two.

He was awoken from this state of perpetual self hate by the phone ringing. Shinji, who had had no footing as of right now in reality, just stared at it for the first three rings. By the third though, something had awoken within him, something that had been sleeping: his confidence. He grabbed the phone and answered "hello?"

"Yo man!" yelled Touji from the other line. Shinji could barely make out his voice, he was obviously outside on his cell phone. "Dude! We're going to central park. You should totally come too!"

Shinji wondered for a couple of seconds as to whether or not this was a smart move. He just kind of wanted to sleep. "Who is we?" he asked, might as well find out who is there.

Touji didn't seem to have heard him as he was laughing a little too hard on the phone. Shinji was just about to repeat himself, but Touji interrupted with his response. "It's me, Kensuke and a bunch of kids from the other classes from the school. I don't even really know how I got invited, or got Kensuke to come, but trust me, it's crazy!"

There was something different in his voice, Shinji could tell. "Dude are you drunk?" he asked, knowing what would probably be his answer.

"Man, not only that but stoned more then, well, a stone bitch!" Touji told him. "I also got a joint here with your name on it dude. Literally actually, I don't really know how it got started but someone had a magic marker but it was too big, I'll tell you story when you come. We betted as to whether you would actually come or not. I mean, like if Asuka would ever let you go. I put a lot of fucking money on you, so you better come. See you in like 15 minutes, Central Park, I love you man, like too much!" with that he hung up his phone.

Shinji just kind of sat there for a couple of seconds with the phone still in his hand. He put it down slowly thinking as to whether or not to come. Given any other day or situation he would never come. It was just that line "if Asuka would ever let you go." That kind of struck a chord right now. Maybe it was time to show them all that he actually lived his life according to himself, not what she said.

Without really giving it too much thought Shinji stood up and left his room. He grabbed his bag and was about to take that with him but decided not to, seeing as he probably would not need it.

He noticed something inside of it though when he did pick it up. He opened the bag and took out the pictures of Asuka and Rei from the day before. He stared at the pictures, looked at how great their bodies were. Asuka had the better breasts in his opinion, but Rei was cuter, which was also a big thing.

Shinji stood there, and grabbed what was probably the sexiest picture of each and put them into his pants. Just as something to look at to make him feel better if he felt down during the night. Which Shinji would have betted on, had there been anyone else in the room to bet with.

When he finished up with the pictures he moved to the front door. Before he left though he remembered the note on the counter and decided he should read it. The note basically said that his parents were going to be home late and no one other than Asuka was allowed in the place. Shinji just grabbed a pen and quickly wrote "me too" under his parent's note.

As he left the house his doubt filled his stomach but decided that this was something he needed to prove to everyone, especially to himself. With that radiating through his mind and many encouraging words that he had to say to himself over and over again, he trudged through the street to his destination of the park.

When he got there he was really afraid that he was not going to be able to find them, seeing as Touji never actually told him where in the park was he to find them. The park was a pretty sizable place. He had to phone Touji twice to get there. Touji, was in absolutely no condition to give directions. If he was going to give this crowd anything, was that they knew where to hide.

As he got there Kensuke walked up to him and greeted him. He seemed to be in a better state then Touji was. Touji, when he saw Shinji yelled nonsense as loud as he could. He started to walk around receiving money from a decent amount of people who Shinji did not even recognize.

When Touji finished getting his money, he walked back to Shinji and gave Shinji a beer. Shinji just kind of stared at it for a bit before drinking it down. He had drunk beer before, but not with the sole goal of getting drunk. Right when he finished Touji had already started to light something in his mouth.

He inhaled a few times, before passing it to Kensuke. Kensuke stared at it a bit before inhaling a little bit. Afterwards he didn't cough and seemed pretty pleased with himself. Kensuke passed it to Shinji who did not even know how to hold it right. He did though put it to his mouth and inhale multiple times; this though was interrupted though by him coughing.

Touji seeing this instantly started to laugh, almost manically. "Dude put your arms up," he told Shinji. Shinji just kind of stared at him for a second while coughing. Touji, smiled and demonstrated the difficult action of raising his arms. Shinji, without any better idea did as Touji said, and it did help, he thought.

The three of them stayed together for most of the time. Whenever anyone would come near them, they would usually just talk to Touji for a while, and then walk away. This continued for a couple of hours. Shinji couldn't lie and say he wasn't having a blast though.

It was just during kind of random looking around that Shinji realised something that he had not before. Rei was here too. She was on the complete other side of where the crowd was. Shinji lit a cigarette, that Touji insisted that if he smoked after a joint it would get him higher, and started walking towards her with more confidence then he knew he had.

She was sitting at the trunk of a tree. It was an old one with more then just a few dead branches hanging onto little more then the tree's will to stay together. In this city there were few things that were old, this tree being one of the few. It had an eyrie beauty to it like how a dying tiger that refused to sit still and wait for the end had more courage to be counted. This gave a large contrast to Rei, who was young, cute and did not seem to care about things such as time.

As Shinji came up to her, she noticed him and made a small smile. She did not seem to be experiencing too much, which was a difference between her and everyone else. As Shinji got to her, he realised that he, in all reality, had no idea in the slightest what to say. Without any ideas as to what to do, he just sat next her and said "Hey."

Rei giggled a little bit and looked at him with an innocent smile "Hi. How's your girlfriend?" Shinji looked at her for a second, realising that the last time she had seen him was when he was making out with Asuka.

Shinji frowned for a second and looked at the ground, "right now, not my girlfriend," was all he could think to say. Rei seemed to actually smile a lot deeper then Shinji thought one could after something he didn't really think of as good news.

Noticing Shinji's slight discomfort Rei grabbed the cigarette from Shinji's mouth which he had forgotten was in there, and inhaled a bit. "Well what are you doing here, looking for rebound or something?" Rei asked, seriously, or at least that was all Shinji could read from her face.

Shinji hesitated for a bit and started to panic, what did she want him to say? Yes or no? Without any other idea he could think of he replied simply "nope, just trying to exercise the freedom I could not before."

Rei seemed to accept this answer and dropped the subject entirely. The two of them talked for a good half an hour about ideals. It was something that was a little alien to Shinji, personal communication was not something he did too often. The stooge's conversations were usually on random, generally nerdy topics and his conversations with Asuka were usually, well usually they didn't have conversations, just each other's company.

After the half an hour Shinji got up and grabbed the two of them some drinks from this large pack of assorted alcoholic drinks some random guy Shinji had thought he might have seen maybe once or twice before. It took him a little longer then he had expected as these two guys had made him take two shots of whiskey.

As he got back he noticed that Rei was staring at him differently. Shinji sat back next to her and smiled. He was about to ask her about her changed expression when around three other people sat down with him and they all shared a couple joints. When they were finished the other people sat up and walked away. Shinji, noticing a pack of cigarettes slightly hanging out of one of their back pockets grabbed it, decided the person wouldn't need it.

This was really kind of going weird. Shinji was loosing himself without really knowing why. This was the first time he had ever had weed, and taking as much as he had, probably was not a very good idea. At least he wasn't freaking out and acting like a total ass, like Touji was. Shinji was surprised no one had punched Touji yet.

He finally looked at Rei, who was looking at him with the most seductive stare Shinji had ever seen. All of her clothes seemed loose and there was sweat moving down her brow. She just stared at him for a couple of seconds while Shinji's eyes kind of moved all over her. Shinji, just swallowed hard and hoped that someone, potentially him, would make a move.

Rei, though, did exactly that, but not even in the slightest close to what Shinji had been hoping for. "So, what is the story behind you and Asuka?" she asked with almost each word acting like a small dagger stabbing Shinji.

Shinji had been staring at her chest at that very moment, when he heard her say that though his head shot up and stared her in the eyes. He bit his lip as the thoughts of Asuka came rushing back into his head.

What he had done today.

How he had been acting towards her.

What he had just been thinking of about another girl.

His lip, under the strain of his teeth even started to bleed. Tears kind of built up in his eyes. For some reason he couldn't fight them off at all. In his attempt to fuck himself up enough to forget all of this, just left him defenceless.

Rei who had still had her seductive and fun face was greatly surprised by his response. Her face instantly switched to one of concern. She moved her arm to touch him, to try to console whatever was wrong. Out of instinct he just swatted it away. After a minute of just staring at him she asked "what the fuck happened?"

Shinji, was kind of taken out of his trance by this. All he could think to say was "Me." Shinji just started to panic then, and jumped on top on Rei. He stared into her eyes, grabbed her right breast and kissed her on the mouth.

Rei almost panicked, and pushed him off of her. She didn't run away though, she just kind of rolled on top of him. "You have to take it a little slower," she whispered in his ear and kissed him gently on the lips.

There was still something in the back of Shinji's mind though that couldn't escape. He had tears build up in his eye lids, and said "I can't promise that I might not go back to her."

"Don't think I won't go down without a fight," Rei whispered. And they continued as they were. In the next minutes it went only a little further with the kisses a little more open and Shinji gently groping her.

The two of them would have probably stayed like that had Touji never intervened. He ran up to them and threw Rei off from on top of Shinji. "Slow down there lover boy, what the fuck do you think you're doing?" Touji asked. Shinji, angered by this tried to get up but Touji just pushed him back down.

"What about Asuka? You just forgot about her?" Touji asked Shinji, with his voice raised. There was something different about his eyes. His actions were for sure affected by the alcohol and recreational drugs, but there was a passion there. Something Shinji could not honestly say he had seen before in Touji.

Shinji just got more upset by this. He got up quickly and cleanly, as if he was not as out of his mind as he was. Staring at Touji's face he said plainly "That is none of your fucking business."

Touji, did not seem very pleased by this response. "Not my fucking business? Me and her may not be on the best terms, hell I can barely stand her but there is one thing I know. She has done more then enough to deserve you, and more then enough to deserve better than this!" Touji ran up and pushed Shinji who lost his balance but did not fall.

This little confrontation seemed to be attracted people. More and more people started to circle around them to see what this was about. "Deserve me? Am I just an object to be won once you do enough for it? I'm a human being, who deserves more then to be played around with. You told me today that she wouldn't let me come, she probably wouldn't have, but I have come because I could, because I am a person capable of free will. All she ever wanted from me was someone to control and put down. She didn't deserve me, because first she would have had to have cared for me!"

Shinji ran up to Touji and tried to punch him, but even intoxicated Touji dodged it with ease. "Are you just fucking stupid? You ever think that that is the only way she knows how to communicate with people! The only reason she stayed with you for so long was because you accepted her, she could act naturally and you would be fine with it. Not every fucking thing is because of you. She needed, no, needs someone who will always be there with her, and you just fucking start making out with the next whore who would do you.

"The fastest is not always the best, and human lives are a more delicate balance then you could accept."

Rei now was angry. She walked right up to Touji and slapped him on the face, so hard that he fell to the ground. "I am not some fucking whore you shit face!" she then started to kick in the stomach repeatedly.

Confused by all of this Shinji ran up and grabbed her. Angry by this she easily wormed out of his arms. She slapped him across the face hard as well, but not as hard as she did for Touji. Shinji limped away for a second before she walked back up to him and kissed him on the lips. She muttered an apology and walked behind him. Shinji turned to join her but Touji, who had somehow gotten back up while the others were busy grabbed him and threw him to the ground.

"Dude she may not admit it, or openly show it, but Asuka cares more for you than anyone else I have ever known. More than Hikari has ever for me! Now here you are just slapping her across the face much harder then that bitch did to me!" Touji was steaming with rage. Touji grabbed Shinji by the shirt and lifted him up to his feet.

"If she cares so much for me, then please, please explain to me, why ever action she does for me she acts like it is doing a chore. As if she didn't look after me then every part of my life would crumble! She doesn't care for me, more then she would a house that needs sweeping!" Shinji spit in Touji's face but stumbled right afterwards, almost falling to the ground.

Touji grabbed Shinji by the arm and stabilized him. "Because when the fuck has anything she done for you not a chore? Your life is so sad that she is convinced that would happen. And what's happened now that you have went out on your own? When was the last time you also asked her for something else? Asked her on a date? Asked for something fucking else?" From Touji's face it seemed like he was starting to lose himself. He was in no condition to be having this argument. "I'm not going fucking let you hurt her! Where is that fucking honour you always said you have now?"

Touji pushed Shinji back down onto the ground and picked him up by his shirt collar till he was just above Touji's waist. Shinji's expression changed then to one of horrified realisation. Tears started flowing down his face like a river. He moved his lips, and tried his hardest to talk "But, but I've already hurt her! I've already fucking hurt her! I, I, I slapped her across her face, and, and I threw her to the ground!" He looked at Touji's face and just couldn't stop the tears from coming.

Touji punched him in the face.

And again.

And again.

He probably only stopped because Rei jumped onto his back and started to yell at him to stop. The crowd, which at this point was pretty much everyone there walked in between the two of them to stop it. Kensuke walked up to Shinji who was lying on the ground as if he were unconscious.

Shinji did not really know what specifically happened afterwards. Touji stormed off to probably throw rocks at Hikari's window screaming "STELLA!" Rei checked up on Shinji and then walked home. Kensuke put one of Shinji's arms over his shoulder and the two of them walked back to Shinji's place.

The two of them only took one break to smoke one of the cigarettes that Shinji had stolen. Kensuke described how he didn't really like them very much, but that they were really cool.

When they got to Shinji's building, Shinji had much more trouble opening the lock to get in then he thought was possible. Shinji insisted that he could make it to his own apartment alone but Kensuke repeatedly said that he would at least walk Shinji to his door. Shinji, was in no condition to argue with him and agreed.

As they got to the elevators they made the unlucky discovery that the two elevators were out of order. Shinji just kind of swore loudly and banged his fists against the doors for a minute before the two started to climb the stairs. Something that both of them knew was going to go on for too long and be more painful than anything should be.

When they neared Shinji's floor they had the great luck to run into two people who were probably the last they wanted to run into: Asuka and Hikari.

Even though it was probably a confusing place for the two of them to be for Kensuke; Shinji knew exactly why they were there. He and her had been there many times.

One important thing to know about Asuka's life was that she had a very nosy and very protective mother. Whenever she would have anyone over, her mother would love to spy on her. Sometimes this was merely walking into Asuka's room without knocking, but with a viable excuse such as needing to grab something. A couple of times though Asuka and Shinji had found her mother actually trying to listen in.

Asuka, then eventually decided that if there was anything she wanted to discuss, that she would not want her mother to know about, they would move into the stairs here to talk about it.

So after today's events it was no surprise that she was her, even this late at night. It was also no question as to what it was they wanted to discuss without her mother knowing: him.

Things though, actually went better then they could have, as the first thing anyone said after they all say each other was "What the hell happened to him?" as Asuka almost ran to Shinji's less then perfect body, and mind.

Kensuke seemed pretty nervous right now, Shinji knew that he was conflicted as to how to act. "A lot of things," he tried to cover up. Kensuke probably did not want to say all of the details or at least he did not want to be the one to tell Asuka. That was going to have to be Shinji's responsibility, and Shinji knew it would probably be best if it were only those two when that conversation happened.

Asuka did not seem very pleased with that but she probably that it would be too much work to beat it out him. Shinji tried to just keep moving, to show that he was fine but he just lost balance and fell right into Asuka's arms.

Hikari seemed to be an unconfident participant, as if she too had no idea how to act right now. Obviously the conversation the two of them had been having, was not suppose to end with Asuka helping out Shinji with every inch of her voice sounding concerned.

Shinji without any better idea just said "Look, I'll just go to my place by myself."

There was a slight tension in the air after he had actually talked. Everyone around him seemed in thought for a minute. They needed a plan, or something along those lines. Asuka, who was never one for patience just said "Like hell you are, I'll walk you there. Fool,"

Kensuke and Hikari just kind of looked at each other and came to an unspoken agreement. The two of them nodded to Asuka and started down the stairs. Shinji could have sworn he heard Hikari ask "What happened?" as the two of them disappeared.

When they were finally gone Asuka moved his arm over her shoulder. She looked different, that was all that Shinji could figure out. Her eyes were slightly swollen and red. He wanted to just think about the possible things that could have led her to that, but he knew the second he looked at her that he was the fault.

Even though they were only a couple of floors to Shinji's the stairs seemed to go on forever. They stretched and stretched until all Shinji could see was stairs. Deciding that he just didn't feel like going on, he almost just slivered through Asuka's grip to sit down. Asuka though, was not going to let this happen. She held onto his arm until she was almost carrying Shinji's full wait. She never wavered as well. Shinji could see it in her eyes like a fire. She was going to help him, because she was strong.

And that's what strong people do, look after the weak.

They got to Shinji's floor much quicker then it seemed to him and walked to his door. Asuka shook him to get him to grab his keys, but he was thinking or at least he was not paying attention to where he was, or what they were doing. Asuka was put off a bit by this and grabbed everything from his pocket. She shifted through the stuff for a second before she found the keys.

She fumbled with them, not knowing which one was the key to get in. She turned her head to ask Shinji about which one it was to get in, but he grabbed the keys out of her hand. He stood still and unlocked the door as if he was totally sober and unhurt.

When he opened it though, he walked in and was planning on just telling Asuka 'thank you' and close the door, but she sneaked in before he could. He really did not know what to do and was about to ask her something, anything, but she kept walking till she entered his room and closed the door.

Shinji was confused by this but decided he was going to deal with that in a minute. The first thing he did was stumble to his kitchen and he drunk probably a litre of water to quench his dry throat.

He walked into the bathroom and looked at himself in the mirror. His shirt and pants were covered in grass stains, his shirt had a small rip on the collar, his hair was a mess and he had a large black eye. Over all he looked like shit. He washed off his face with hot water and took off his ripped shirt. He put the shirt in the garbage can and just sat down for a second. Only the realisation that Asuka was in his room got him to get up.

The light in his room was on and he was afraid to open the door, but he knew he must, there was nothing else he could.

He walked to, each step taken carefully so he would not fall. Even though he was slightly starting to feel better he was still kind of dizzy.

Asuka was sitting on the floor opposite to him. She was wearing another shirt then the one she had had on when he had seen her before. She must have been wearing this shirt under the other one. This one was much tighter and hugged her skin showing off her curves. She was looking at two things in her hands, so Shinji had time to explore her with his eyes.

It was not long after though, that he realised what she was looking at. It was two pictures. He was not sure, but would have bet considerable money that it was the two he had put in his pocket before he had left that day. He checked his pocket to be sure and noticed that there was nothing in them. Asuka had taken everything out of that pocket when she had grabbed his keys. For some reason she seemed to be staring at them intently. "Hey?" was all Shinji could think to ask.

She looked up at him as if she had not even realised that he was in the room. She had though; she always knew everything that was going on, even if she did not show it. "Do you really think this of me?" she asked putting the pictures on the ground. "Your picture of Rei has her looking cute and smiling, while mine is just a picture of me wearing little clothing and slowing off my cleavage."

Shinji honestly had never thought of it like that or consciously realised that that was how he thought. He quickly tried to construct excuses or something to get out of it. Nothing came to mind though, because, it was the truth, he had to admit it to himself. He wanted to tell her that but the words never came out of his lips. He just kind of stared at her with the most honest stare he could muster up. It was then that he realised he was shirtless and quickly started to try to find one.

Asuka frowned at this and grabbed Rei's photo. She whispered something to herself and ripped the photo up. "What happened to you today?" she asked with a real concern in her voice. "What happened to you?"

Shinji kind of froze where he was and sat on his floor. He looked at her and said "I experienced fucking myself up."

Asuka moved her right hand and grabbed her shoulder. "What exacting do you define as fucking yourself up? That is not a very precise term." Her hand started to massage her skin for reasons that Shinji had no idea of. All he knew was that she looked a little too good doing it.

"Well I, probably drank too much, and I, well I tried getting high. It was really not too special." Shinji informed her; he was trying to act as cool as he could. He did not really know why but his thoughts were spiralling around in circles. He could not keep hold of a thought for too long as well. All he knew it was about her.

Asuka did not really seem too impressed by that. "And where does the whole beating the shit out of you come in? Wanted to try doing that too tonight?" He was thinking of her body right then, but as she asked it he remembered what the situation was.

"No, I did not do it. Touji did it," he told her. His first thought was to lie, but she deserved better. He needed to let her know. She seemed kind of angered by that. "Yeah, I guess he cares about you more then you would think." He right away kicked himself after saying that though. That had come out wrong.

Asuka just looked a little disgusted by that. "What do you mean?"

Shinji had to quickly come up with a plan, but just started talking without one. "No, no, not like that. It's just, well." He breathed in deeper then his lungs could. "We were at this park with a whole lot of people. Rei was there. We just kind of started making out, and, I was groping her too. Touji saw this and there was no way he was going to let me do that to you, so he intervened. We argued and he ended up doing this to me."

Asuka looked like a mixture of horrified, disgusted and totally betrayed. She stood up and started storming out of his room quickly but as she passed by him he grabbed her by the wrist. She slapped his hand off of her and got to the door. Without any other ideas Shinji just said simply "Don't leave me!" He had not even noticed when he had started to cry.

There were a couple of breaths of silence. Asuka just stood at the doorway. "Why?" she asked through a hoarse voice.

Shinji stared at her. This time it was different though. It was not longer sexual, it was more then that. It was something Shinji had wanted to be able to do for a while. The problem was his voice who had now escaped his grasp. He wanted to tell her, tell her something, anything, but there was nothing there.

There was a stillness that Shinji couldn't dream to touch. It was far beyond his reach. The only thing he could do was just watch her. "If I stay," Asuka started, "Would you promise to never look at that bitch again?"

If there was anytime in Shinji's life where he wished he had the ability to lie to Asuka, it would be right then. Miracles are not given, only earned though and if there was one thing that Shinji had not done that night it was earn it. "I can't lie to you," he almost yelled to the ground. He could not even stand staring at her.

"Why not?" Asuka asked, still in the doorway. She was no longer standing, her legs had just kind of melted away and she was crouching. Shinji had not expected this, he was confused. What did that mean? She turned around and looked at him. She walked right up to him and picked him up onto his feet.

She looked at him, straight through his eyes, and asked "Why can't you just humour me tonight?" Shinji tried to smile at this and made a feeble success.

Asuka smiled though, deeply, right at him, almost hiding the tears in her eyes. No matter how he thought, he just wanted this moment, one of happiness to last. Asuka gently pushed him onto his bed. She took off her jeans and climbed on top of him. She leaned in and kissed him hard, long. It was their first real one and Shinji wouldn't have traded with anything.

The two of them fell asleep like that.

And Shinji dreamed a dream like no other.

AN- Well there you have it. For all of those who asked me to update, I hope that that was enough. I doubt I will write a third chapter so as of right now, it's the end.


	3. A Road Taken

So, a long time in the making, here is chapter 3! I just want to start off by thanking all of the people who have reviewed this story. None of my other stories ever got as many as this one did, and as this is my most personal one, I really appreciated it. Thank you, and enjoy! (I've tried to make this one less depressing, lets hope it is)

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_I can't  
get out  
Of what I'm into  
with you _

Shinji shifted his head to the right to try and quell the pain. His head ached and pulsed, no hangover before came close to the one he was experiencing. Once he had opened his eyes all he could think of was pain. He had tried to get up initially. It seemed like a good idea to drink some water, eat some food or take some ibuprofen. Lying on the bed didn't appear like it would be an efficient way to try and combat the hangover. Unfortunately Shinji was not solely suffering from his drink related escapades, but also the literal beating he had taken the night before. Every muscle was sore, all movement hurt, he was trapped in a state of perpetual pain and discomfort.

Despite all of this Shinji felt himself in good spirits. It wasn't often he had a chance to sleep in the same bed as Asuka. He had only done it once before at a sleepover over eight years before. They had made a fort out of the sheets on Asuka's bed and the cushions from the couch. Asuka told the scariest stories she could think of, trying as hard as she could to make Shinji afraid. It worked fantastically, Shinji was too afraid to leave the fort. So the two of them slept in it together, and even though he'd never admit it, when Shinji had awoken the next morning the two of them had been holding hands.

Asuka was still asleep. Her diaphragm moved up and down slowly. Shinji's eyes were glued to it. There was something beautiful about such a simple action. The sun light crept through the only window of the room, illuminating everything ever so subtly. Shinji's penguin alarm clock stared at them like some kind of voyeur. Shinji didn't like to think of anyone watching them. Not because he was afraid of what they'd think, but rather because the moment was so personal. This was for him and Asuka, no one else mattered, and no one else had any claim to this situation.

This was bullshit and Shinji knew it. He kept trying to suppress what had occurred over the last two days but it always found a way back into his mind. How could he be such a fool? What was he a fool about? Could he have possibly acted in a different way? What about Rei?

Even with Asuka laying on top of him, in the sexiest position imaginable, he couldn't help but wonder about Rei. She had been so forward with him. She really did actually want to be with him. Enough that she would challenge Asuka. That has to be worth something right? And she was cute, cute as a button.

But Shinji didn't want to think of that right then. At the moment he needed to think about Asuka. Her beautifully round breasts pressing softly against his arms. How her blood red hair shone in the light. She was pretty, prettier than Shinji could ever hope to explain. But he had failed her, hurt her, and he was going to have to live with that. Shinji's hands hurt from the night before, when he had attacked his best friend for trying to stand up for her. Was that something a nice person would do? Where was his much revered honour now?

He was a weak kid. A kid who didn't have the maturity to handle the situations he was finding himself in. He had always heard how making decisions never became easier to make, but he sure wished they would. That there would be a pattern, or equation, that once one knew it all of life's tough choices became simple arithmetic. But that was nothing but make believe. Fairies probably don't have to make decisions like these, they know all the answers, because if something fake were real, wouldn't it have the resources of all fiction?

Shinji's arm was getting numb, he was going to have to move Asuka off of it. He gently whispered Asuka's name into her ear. She didn't respond. He started to tell her to wake up in his normal voice. Again she didn't respond. Shinji took a couple of seconds to collect his thoughts. He didn't want to yell in case his parents heard. There didn't appear to be any options other than moving her himself. He grabbed her and gently tried to turn her over. This didn't work particularly well. Asuka may not have been skinny, but that did not mean she was light. Shinji swore under his breath. His hands brushed against her shoulders, he was going to have to grip them and forcefully mover her. He prayed she wouldn't wake up then. His hands clasped, he took a deep breath and turned Asuka over.

She laid on top of him now completely. Her back laying right over his chest. This had not been a good idea. Shinji's breathing started to become harder, but this was not only because of the increased weight on his chest. Asuka's breasts were now within perfect view of Shinji's eyes. He couldn't look away if he had wished. Her nipples were lightly visible underneath her tight shirt. His mind went quickly back to the night before when he had felt up Rei. In only one second Shinji couldn't get his mind off of them.

Sweat started to pour down his face as he tried to think of something else. All that kept coming back into his mind was the need to touch it, feel it, experience what he had always been missing from Asuka. He moved his now no longer numb, and only mobile, arm, and slowly crept it towards the seductive lumps. His hand was only a couple of inches away when common sense returned to him. This was a terrible idea beyond terrible ideas. He needed to get out of there, needed an escape, but the only one who could do that was himself.

Without a better idea he put his arm around her stomach and tried to squeeze out from under her. It took a minute but he was able to nudge himself free. He stood up in a fit of pain. He was still sore all over, he had forgotten about that for a second. Asuka lay on the bed, completely asleep, with a cute little smile across her face. Shinji grabbed a sheet off of the ground and put it on top of her, and then walked to the washroom.

Once in the washroom Shinji quickly stripped off all of his clothes. He stood there for a couple of seconds, naked, bare feet on the tile floor. He stared at his erect penis, thinking about how much pain it had caused him, about what it had almost made him do. It sickened him, he wanted to think that it didn't have as much control over him as it did, but someone can only lie to himself for too long. He drank as much water as his stomach could hold, masturbated, and downed three ibuprofen. If that didn't make him feel better he didn't know what would.

He moved towards the dining room to try to put some food inside of him. It wasn't something he particularly wished to do, but always heard how eating helps one's stomach settle. The hangover wasn't going to disappear, but if his stomach stopped aching he would feel considerably better.

His mother, Yui, was sitting at the table reading the newspaper. She was wearing her apron and eating a piece of toast without anything on it. The table was covered with different sections of the paper. On the counter there were a couple of dirty dishes. His father, Gendo, had probably already eaten and left for work.

There were few days his father wasn't either at work or traveling somewhere exotic with or without Yui. Shinji had often asked him why he couldn't just sit down and relax. Why did he need to dedicate himself to his work as much as he did? Gendo would laugh and describe how important his work was. He was doing mankind a favor, while feeding his family, what more could he ask for. Shinji never believed this, he always believed he was jealous of Yui. She was Fuyutsuki's favourite, and Gendo could never accept that. He loved her to death, but Gendo needed to be number 1, there were no other options.

Yui never particularly liked working. She just wanted to eat and relax, Shinji was in many ways more a child of Yui than of Gendo. Shinji didn't mind thinking that.

Shinji walked towards his mother at the table. She shifted the paper down slightly to take a look at him. Shinji gave her a slight smile and she returned him a deep frown. She stood up, pushing the chair out from under her, and pushed the newspaper down onto the table. Shinji didn't like the look of this. She walked right up to him and poked him right below the eye. Shinji let out a yelp of pain, having forgotten his black eye from the night before.

"Where did you get that?" Yui said walking to the refrigerator. She opened the freezer and took out a couple of pieces of ice. She put them into a small plastic bag that was lying on top of the counter.

Shinji gulped and tried to think of an excuse. He couldn't outwardly lie, he wasn't a good enough of a lier to pull that off, it had to be believable too. "Well, I went to a party last night, and it got kind of rowdy. I was there with Touji and Kensuke, we had been invited by, well I don't really know who invited us, Touji just knew about it."

"Uh huh," Yui added, seemingly unconvinced by Shinji's story up to this point. Before Shinji could continue his story Yui gently placed the bag of ice against Shinji's face. As soon as the cold touched his face Shinji quivered back. Yui put her hands on her hips and gave Shinji a disproving look. "Come on Shinji, you have some swelling,"

Shinji sighed and let his mother continue to place it on his face. "So Touji started to challenge people to wrestling matches, to prove his manliness. He acts like that when he's around too many people. At one point he challenged me and without realizing it he went a little too far and gave me this."

Yui put the bag down for a second and started to examine Shinji's face in closer proximity. She frowned a little, in a way Shinji was sure to have seen. "By he went a little too far, you mean he socked you in the face," she said without a hint of sincerity in her voice. Shinji wasn't doing a particularly good job of selling his story.

"Well, he didn't intend it to hit my face. I think it was supposed to have been a punch in the shoulder, but I tried to dodge it. Unfortunately my dodging skill appears to put a worse part of my body in the trajectory," Shinji said hoping to reinforce his story.

Yui looked at him for a second before handing him the bag of ice to apply himself. He hoped this was a signal she had believed his story. Without hesitation he put the bag against his face, which was something he promptly regretted as he wasn't paying attention to how sensitive that area was. Yui sat back down on at the table and picked the newspaper back up from the table.

"Well you wouldn't want to keep your guest waiting. Later you can tell me the story behind that as well, I can't wait to hear the part about her clothes. You did at least use protection right?" Yui muttered from behind her newspaper.

Shinji was flabbergasted. She obviously didn't believe a single thing he had just said. He stood for a couple of seconds trying to think of what to say. "It's not like that at all," was all he was able to think of. He bit his tongue soon after saying it, that was not going to help him at all.

Yui lowered the paper from her face so that Shinji could see her face. "Don't worry honey, I would rather see you two together than whatever the hell was going on yesterday," she said with reassurance. Shinji breathed a sigh of relief, maybe he was making to much of all of this. "Just be smart about it!"

Shinji nodded his head with acknowledgement. And walked towards his room.

He opened his door slowly and tiptoed his way into his room. His floor was covered with discarded clothes. Most surfaces such as his desk and bedside table were covered in different trinkets, papers and utterly useless devices he couldn't for the life of him figure out what they were for. It was kind of amazing the kind of mess he had been able to amass in such a small room. If any other person would have tried to describe it they would have used the word 'disgusting' and Shinji was slowly starting to see their point of view.

Asuka was lying on he bed without the cover Shinji had placed on top of her. Her eyes, wide open, pointed straight towards the ceiling, tears lightly rolling down her face. Shinji's good mood disappeared within the second. Things were about to get a lot worse, very quickly. He kneeled next to the bed and asked gently, "what's wrong?"

Without responding Asuka turned over onto her side facing the other way. She bundled herself into a ball and quietly let out a whimper. Shinji swallowed hard, trying to figure a way out of this. But doing things was never Shinji's strong point, and if the last two days had proven to him that he wasn't particularly good at it either. He put his hand on her shoulder and asked again "come on Asuka, please, what's wrong?"

With a sniff Asuka replied this time, "I'm such an idiot." She rolled over once again back into the position she was in when Shinji had entered the room. "Why would I forgive like I did last night? Why do I still right now pretend the last two days didn't happen? I just want to roll into a ball and die! Fuck, fuck, fuck," she continued to repeat.

"Come on Asuka, it's okay, it'll be okay," Shinji tried to reassure her.

"Shut up you shit," she didn't appear to want any help. "It's not going to be okay, of course it isn't. Just look at us, we're a fucking dysfunctional couple like anything I know. I'm sixteen, I shouldn't have to deal with this crap." She grabbed a pillow and stuck her head into it.

Shinji put his arm on her back and started to rub it. "Please calm down, it'll be okay. I know I'm worthless as shit, and I don't deserve you, but I, I can't think of anywhere I'd rather be than next to you." There was a silence between the two of them. "Look, I know I fucked up, with Rei, with you, I'm sorry. The only reason I think I even did that shit with Rei was because I thought she'd let me do it. It was dumb, meaningless. And, I don't know, you said last night you'd rather I lie to you about the whole thing, but I'm not lying right now, I promise."

Asuka quickly turned around and grabbed the hand Shinji was rubbing her back with. "That's bullshit and you know it, but maybe I deserved some of this shit too. I'm sorry for being such a crappy friend." She pulled him in close by the hand and kissed him gently on the lips. Shinji tried to pull back, surprised by this greatly but Asuka kept him right in front of her even after the kiss. Starring him directly in the eyes she whispered "if I ever see you and her together again, ever, I am going to fucking cut off your penis." Shinji would have laughed at the comment had it not been for the extreme severity in her eyes.

And Shinji gulped.

The two of them moved into the living room in which Shinji's mother was no where to be found. Asuka had put on the clothes she had worn the night before just in case Yui was still around. Shinji didn't really know where she might have scurried off to. There was little she did outside of work and watching television. It didn't matter at the moment anyway, they'd just act normal.

Shinji thought of what'd he make them to eat. He stood against the counters staring at the food but found himself suffering from vertigo. His knees became weak. He needed to find somewhere to sit down or else he was going to collapse. Asuka took notice to his legs shaking and got up from the seat she was sitting in. She gave him her hand for support. It was a firm grip, crushing Shinji's small hand, but it needed to be strong so that Shinji would not fall. She slowly lead him to a chair and sat him down. It appeared as if his hangover wasn't getting particularly better at the moment.

Shinji sat on that chair for around half and hour slipping in and out of consciousness. He had lost his grip on reality and often found himself surprised to find himself on a chair in his kitchen. Asuka made him some toast to give him some carbs. He tried to eat it, fighting the great urge in his stomach not to. There was no doubt food was what his body needed, but it seemed to be begging against him. The contradictions abounded in Shinji's torso as he wished he hadn't gone so far the night before.

After he was finished eating his bread the two of them moved to the couch. Shinji lied down across hoping to stretch himself out and help himself get comfortable. Asuka stared at him for a couple of seconds trying to decide what to do. Eventually she shrugged and climbed on top of him. The weight made Shinji lose his breath but he didn't mind. He could lie like this no matter how gone he was.

Without even realizing it Shinji slowly drifted into sleep. His whole body felt as if it were convulsing but there was no movement. He was in a stasis of experience, where each little touch was completely irrelevant but every feeling he could feel was essential. A friend of his would later tell him that this state is one of learning. In complete induced sickness one finds out how their body works, and in what manner their consciousness acts. Shinji liked this description, it was better than his previous one: feeling like crap even when sleeping.

Before he knew it Shinji opened his eyes. He looked over at the clock over top of his television and it showed the time to be around three o'clock. Asuka was lightly breathing against his chest far away in a dream somewhere fantastic. Asuka suffered from insomnia and nightmares, she had these dreams of great destruction. But that wasn't right then, at that moment she was smiling, probably dreaming of something beautiful. Shinji never remembered to ask later what exactly she was dreaming about. It was something he was meaning to do but never got around to. It wasn't all that important anyway.

Shinji lied like that for minutes, but they felt like hours to him. Hours he felt happy. This was different, new and exciting, maybe there was going to be some kind of light at the end of the tunnel. But then Shinji remember how fucked up everything was at the moment. Well hopefully it wasn't going to be as painful as he was expecting. Even when Shinji started to think that he knew deep down it wasn't true. He was going to have to live with it in some extent unfortunately.

Out of nowhere determination sprouted out of Shinji's mostly inactive body and mind. They should do something, he needed to be distracted from all of these negative thoughts. He was happy in the moment, that was what was important. Maybe a walk outside, maybe a movie, something to escape this blissful silence of self doubt.

Shinji lightly nudged Asuka trying to wake her up. She lightly batted away his hand and tried to come back to the dream she was having. Shinji tried again but this time Asuka grabbed his hand in the air before he touched her. Her grip was strong and slowly moved his hand a far enough distance so that he wouldn't poke her again if she let go of his finger. She looked up from his chest. Her eyes were slightly red. She was probably adjusting her vision to the brightness of the room.

"Well that was pleasant, you weren't staring at my tits while I slept were you Shinji?" Asuka asked in a serious tone. Shinji gulped hard, knowing he had done just that earlier when he had woken up that morning. Inspecting Shinji's face a grin grew onto Asuka's face. "Don't worry about it, I think my tits are pretty amazing too," she teased.

Shinji playfully pushed Asuka off from on top of him. She fell onto the ground and gave him the middle finger. They both chuckled a little at this. Shinji would later remember this moment with much importance. That was the first time they had ever even slightly playfully wrestled.

Shinji sat up on the couch and asked "so what do you feel like doing today? We could go see a movie or something."

Asuka picked herself off of the ground. Her clothes were slightly scrunched against her skin and she took a second to fix it. The first thing Shinji thought she was going to do was to attack him but she did something he never expected. She sat across his lap so that she was staring right at him. Her breasts were mere centimeters from his face. In a seductive tone she asked "Well that depends Romeo, how much are you willing to spend on little old me? Especially considering all the shit you put me through the last two days. I want to feel like a motherfucking princess."

To say Shinji was taken aback from this would be an understatement. His mouth dropped and he started to sweat. In side of him somewhere he felt a flame spark. Asuka out of nowhere, was acting like she never had before, probably trying to make him uncomfortable. He would act like that as well. Fuck the problems. Fuck all the shit he's went through, he was going to have as good a time he could. And if he had to deal with the shit later, then he would deal with it later. He could live with that.

Shinji grabbed Asuka's waist and pulled her closer to his body. "Of course I'll give you anything you want. I live to obey." He kissed her neck and she squirmed and squeaked. Where this new found confidence was coming from he'd never know. But it felt good, he felt like a man, like a participant, like how real people live.

Asuka pushed Shinji's face away from her neck. She stared at him straight in the eyes. She had the most wonderful eyes, eyes you could get sucked into. They were wormholes that sucked every bit of colour into them. Instead of the colour disappearing into the eyes, they were exploding into a mosaic of the most wonderful shades. You could look into her eyes for hours and never loose interest for every second was a new experience.

She ran one of her hands through his hair. He felt nice to feel her, feel her presence so near to him. She leaned in close to his ear and whispered "Your penis is digging into me."

Shinji's eyes opened wide and he pushed Asuka right off of his lap. For the second time she fell onto the ground in front of the couch. There was a silence between the two of them. Then Asuka started to laugh. Soon Shinji found himself joining in. It was a moment he couldn't possibly not enjoy. It was pleasant.

They sat like that for a couple of seconds. Shinji couldn't think of anything to add. Maybe it was better to just soak in the silence. If someone were to talk it would just ruin the experience. Eventually Asuka stood up and said "well all of this talk about doing stuff for me has been fun, but lets actually do something about it." She lifted her arm for Shinji to help her up. Shinji complied and pulled her up right. Asuka flashed Shinji a smile and added "well I should go home first. I never did tell mom that I was staying here for the night."

"You want me to come with you?" Shinji asked.

"Of course I want you to come with me. This is my special day isn't it? No running away for you!" Asuka scolded. What was up with Asuka acting like this? Shinji was starting to wonder if something was seriously wrong with her.

The two of them walked towards the stairs. Shinji had jokingly opened the door for Asuka when they left his apartment. He enjoyed it, and Asuka winked at him. They had to take the stairs down to Asuka's place seeing as the elevators were still broken. It really started to bug Shinji. Would it be too much to ask for something like that to be functional.

As they descended Shinji started to worry. The last thing he wanted to do was talk with Asuka's mother. Hopefully that wasn't one of the 'things' Asuka wanted him to do for her. Her mother was paranoid of Asuka getting pregnant. For some reason she viewed this as Shinji's main goal in life. That was why the two of them kept trying to escape her nosiness. It wasn't so much about them wanting their privacy, rather they were trying to escape prosecution.

Luckily for Shinji once they got to her door Asuka slipped into it and closed the door behind her. She did so quickly that Shinji couldn't even say anything before she was gone. Which Shinji was thankful for of course.

He moved away for the doorway and sat down on some stairs. It was pleasantly silent. The stairs were catastrophically crammed into a small area. It was obvious they were not designed to be used other than in emergencies. The stairs themselves were concrete painted a red that had since faded into a brown. They were only a couple of feet wide, not enough for two people to walk up them comfortably. The hand rail was cold iron that had not been sanded. It had rough spikes popping out of it every couple of feet, maliciously waiting for someone to lose focus and feel their wrath.

The past couple of days since the elevators had broken down Shinji had become used to the stairs. At the very least he could claim they were healthier for him than the convenience of the elevators. He needed to exercise more, but so did the entire world. Plus, it wasn't as if he had a weight problem. With his metabolism who needs exercise?

Loud noises started to erupt from Asuka's apartment. It sounded like voices but he could not make out any words. All that was sure was how the people talking sounded angry. Shinji wondered what he should do. He could waltz in there and back up Asuka, but then that would only do more harm than good. An idea would also be to descend a flight of stairs and hide until the whole thing was over but that didn't really seem to be much better.

The gray surrounded his eyes like a dim little blind dancing it stasis. There was a palpable loneliness he felt standing next to the stairs. It was as if had misstepped, or misplaced his goal. Wherever it was, it had kept going but left him there, marinating in his thoughts. An inch on his left leg erupted from the feelings, as if to manifest the discomfort that had been dancing, was now actually affecting his nerves. Or maybe he was finally starting to go crazy, and as paranoid as he had always thought. Neuroses of neurosis is still a neurosis of neuroses.

Luckily it wasn't long before Asuka returned from her travels. She had different clothes on, a bright yellow shirt that had a little blue bird caressing her chest, and cute black skirt that hung at her knees. Her hair was rassled a little, and her face was red, as if it were trying to vainly to match the blood red of her hair.

"What the hell are you staring at?" Asuka asked in a stern tone. This was the Asuka Shinji knew, it was pleasant to see there was still a little bit of her still in there. "My mother wasn't too pleased with me leaving without saying a word, but it's cool." Shinji knew Asuka was lying, and she knew he knew, but that didn't matter. They wanted to pretend everything was okay, for if they accepted the madness and hate of Asuka's mother, then they would have to accept the madness and hate they felt for each other.

Shinji walked up to her to try and caress her cheek, but she pulled away slightly as he approached. Deciding not to push it any further, Shinji started to descend down the stairs. Asuka quietly followed. "So where would you like to go first?" Shinji asked trying to realign their plans.

Asuka smiled and came back to her earlier self ever so slight. A small smirk crept onto the top right side of her mouth. "Well Prince Charming, I was hoping we could get some food. Something warm," a tapping wrapped itself around her rhythm, and pleasant smells danced.

Distracted by what was around the words, Shinji said nothing for a moment. Asuka noticed this and frowned, as if he was insulting her. Once he realized what he was doing, Shinji tried to think of something to say quickly. "There's a nice place down near the school, why don't we go there?" Shinji breathing started to speed up, his breathe started to become short, he couldn't understand why his body was acting so strongly to the situation.

But soon his nerves were lot off the hook as Asuka nodded her head. "Lets race," she whispered under her breathe. Shinji heard her ever so slightly, but was going to ask her if that was what she had said. When he started to mouth the words, Asuka had already sped ahead of him. Trying to collect himself he found himself speeding forward as well.

His body, still sore from the night before, ached with every step he took. The headache he had woken up to started to return as he could feel his brain hurting whenever he made a sharp movement. He'd be damned if he let Asuka beat him though. Even with the knowledge he was going to lose, it was still probably smarter than just staying still. He would be blamed with letting her win if he gave up. Plus, somewhere in his head, he really wanted to be the victor.

Soon he caught up to an Asuka who was proclaiming her unmatched speed. The aroma of the restaurant danced outside of the door and tickled Shinji's stomach. He toes on his feet were trying to drag him in the store, but he needed to enter with Asuka. "Well then, that work up an appetite?" He innocently asked.

"Say it."

"Work up an appetite undefeated queen Asuka?" Shinji quietly said under his breath. Asuka nodded in appreciation to the forced complement and walked into the restaurant. Whenever they would race, Asuka would win, and would insist on being called a queen afterwards. Shinji always wondered why she would want this when she had already proven she was better; did she have such self-esteem issues that she couldn't trust an actual victory? If Shinji won the race, well they both pretended it didn't happen. Sometimes it was better to just ignore things that become troublesome later. Shinji accepted this, but secretly always felt great afterwards non the less.

Over the meal little was said between the two of them. Off remarks about the food and little insults were all that left their mouths. Asuka had ordered a soup, while Shinji just ordered a small egg dish. It was nothing special. Shinji knew Asuka was being nice by not ordering something expensive, even if she was never going to admit it.

Afterwards Asuka dragged Shinji to a couple of shops. She would examine all kinds of different clothes, each one with a different opinion than the last. One would have made her breasts too large, another's ugly yellow would never go with her red hair. She never tried any of them on. Shinji was slightly annoyed by the banality of all of it. But he knew if Asuka actually wished to purchase any of this, that he would be the one to foot the bill, and maybe it was better to keep his mouth shut and let her explore.

It did not take long for Shinji to tire of the endless shopping. Asuka seemed to take notice to his dissatisfaction, and suggested they may want to take a break. Shinji was secretly overjoyed by the prospect, but insisted they continue. The day was for Asuka, not for himself. If he wanted that, then he shouldn't have done what he had.

But it started to tire his body out, as the different limbs around his body were jumping off of large buildings to avoid continuing to move. Despite the hours passed since waking, Shinji's stomach was still fragile. Every movement seemed to push it slowly closer to an edge of deep unsettledness. Each time the muscles would contract to counter it, but this was starting to drain him. When Touji had thrown him to the ground he had not expected such continued soreness.

To be honest, Shinji had never really been in a fight before. In the back of his head he felt proud of himself. He had fought back, and had not lost the fight too badly. There were many people from his class there, they had now seen Shinji was not only a weakling hiding behind Asuka. This was different than all of the times he had been bullied, and it was kind of nice.

Yet why he had been fighting was still present in his mind. Why could he had not been fighting to protect the honor of another person? Once more he had fucked up. At all times he tried to be the best possible person, yet at every turn he was always made the wrong decision. If he had it his way he would not hurt anyone, but somewhere in his mind he knew the truth.

For his own betterment he had to sacrifice being a better person at times. The world was cruel for this. Had he not responded to Rei's message than he would still be in the same situation before. And had he completely ignored Asuka and tried to only be with Rei, he would hurt Asuka just as much as he was probably hurting Rei at this moment.

There was a little piece of Asuka's hair lying on her right arm. The thin ribbon was trapped by the tiny hairs dotting her limb. Red danced in her paleness and the blood shaped strip was a snake hiding in her own doubt. Shinji's eyes were drawn to it, and he slowly moved his hand close to it. He stuck out his finger towards it, and the static brought it to him. He gently felt the hair between his index and his thumb. The fascination with the strand continued for a couple a seconds until a small wind blew it out of his hand. It disappeared in the wind, and was gone.

"I'm done," Asuka whispered, turning around to face Shinji.

It took a moment to bring himself back to reality, and to notice Asuka once more. Her face was subtle, and the little scowl was slowly creeping out of her lips. "You sure?" he asked.

"Yes, lets do something else," the words barely escaped out of her mouth. Something was wrong, maybe she was realizing how wrong everything was.

Shinji could have asked what was haunting her, but instead decided to try something differently. He knew it was a band-aid over the situation, but maybe they didn't need to fix everything right then. He arched his back straight up and took Asuka's hands. "Asuka, I would love it if you would accompany me to our little stairwell." Asuka stared directly into his eyes, trying to figure out what he was getting at.

Without waiting to hear a response from her, Shinji started to lightly tug on her hands. Asuka shifted her gaze to the strange movements, and seemed as if she were about to ask what he was doing. But Shinji started to pull her in the direction of their home before she could get a word out. "Come on, I'm tired of this bullshit, I want what we had before, I want us," Shinji smiled, he was feeling strong, he wanted to come away from what the two of them weren't. If they were not themselves, then there was not a reason to continue what they were doing.

Asuka wiggled her hands out of Shinji's, but continued to walk beside him. She lightly put her hand on his neck. "I'm always me, and you're always you," she said lightly. "But I will feel like a princess if you bring me back to my castle, and save me from the dragon."

They walked in silence.

Asuka put her head on his shoulder.

It was nice for a couple of moments, but such times never last. As if their luck had run out, Rei turned a corner and was walking towards them. Shinji could feel his stomach constrict. The first thing to come to mind was to say something, but his throat became parched, and the words escaped him. Each new step the two of them took, different nightmares flashed before his eyes. Different tones and different fatalities presented themselves without shame, each with new ways. His thoughts betrayed him in a sense, for he would have loved to have been able to think clearly.

Rei's face was a face of obvious disdain. She was probably not happy the guy she had made-out with the night before was walking around with a girl she would have probably described as 'a total bitch'. And was a certain amount of right she had to hold this position. Shinji had been dreading the next time he would face her, but he had hoped it wouldn't be until school started. Why did it have to happen when he and Asuka were having a nice moment?

Shinji did not look at Asuka, he could not bring himself to.

When they became close to one another, the three of them stopped moving. Rei looked at both of the them, and with equal disdain in her voice greeted "Hey Asuka, hey Shinji." But as she finished saying Shinji's name, tears started to form in her eyes. The little diamonds reflected in the light, and her face constricted. Shinji felt terrible, worse than he had the entire morning. It was only then he realized the extent he had hurt her. He had been playing a game, and had been so focused on what he did to Asuka, Rei's feelings had been out of his mind most of the time.

Rei turned around to run away. Shinji wanted to move and grab her, to tell her everything was going to be okay, but his body refused to move. He had done enough playing with both of them, he was done hurting people. If only he could go back the last two days and stop all of this from happening. It wasn't worth it, it wasn't worth it, it wasn't worth it.

To Shinji's surprise, Asuka let go of his arm, and grabbed Rei's shoulder as she had started to walk away. "Hey, I'm sorry," Asuka said lightly, without the usually forcefulness found in her tone. "I'm sorry for this idiot, and for how I've been acting." Asuka did not apologize, this was something special.

Rei slowly started to turn around. Asuka started to smile at her, with almost an innocence to it. Rei just starred at her as if she could not believe what she was witnessing. "You know, I think this whole thing is really my fault, I kind of lose myself sometimes," Asuka continued. "And, I don't actually want you to hate me. Everyone does, and I'm sick of it. I'm sorry."

There was a silence. Shinji had never heard Asuka talk as openly before. There was a tension between the three of them a person could have cut with a knife. "I don't think we've ever actually been introduced, my name is Asuka." Asuka lifted her hand towards Rei's. A smile laid softly between her cheeks. The small diamonds growing in her eyes were hard to see, and she was probably trying to hide them.

It took a couple of seconds but Rei reached out, and the two girls shook hands. "Hi, my name is Rei," she lightly, obviously feeling discomfort from the whole situation. She quickly let go of Asuka's hand and pointed her finger at Shinji. "Don't think you're getting out of this shit, you fuck. I'm tired of this game you've made me play." Her voice was sharp with intension to burn and break.

Shinji started to apologize to her, but before he could get the words out of his mouth Asuka stepped in front of him. She placed herself directly between Rei's pointing finger and Shinji's exposed ego. "Now, friend, I want to make one thing clear. Don't ever fucking threaten my idiot, that's my job. I'm sure if you asked anyone in the last couple of weeks they'd said the exact same thing." She leaned closer and grabbed Rei's pointed index. "See, you wouldn't like me if I get upset, and if someone over steps and gets too close to him: I get upset. Today Shinji's making me feel like a princess, but let me tell you, I'm one badass motherfucking warrior princess, and a hell of a lot more man than that boy's ever known." Her tone was harsh and exaggerated. Shinji actually sighed a little when he heard it. This was the Asuka he knew, the girl who'd been his only friend when they were longer. It was nice to see she had not changed.

At the same time, the new Asuka had been one hell of a lot less scary.

Rei off put Shinji by her next actions. She smirked as if her mouth was trying to find a way off of her face. She pushed her grasped index finger towards Asuka's chest until the finger was within an inch of Asuka's chest. "Despite how hard you're trying to scare me, know this. You are never going to scare me, and you are never going to beat me." Her voice was monotone, like that of a body without soul. Her eyes became distant, and almost cruel in their disinterest. "But there is one thing I've learned in the last couple of days, that boy ain't worth it.

"He just attaches himself to the closest person who is willing to let him. He's a leech without an inch of a vertebrae. The next time a girl comes by and is in an way interested in him, he's going to follow her skirt, just like he did mine. You won't be able to hold on to him like you want, no matter how serious your relationship gets. Enjoy your worm!" And with that Rei walked away, half laughing and half crying.

Shinji and Asuka stood on the sidewalk as they watched her go. Neither said anything, nor did they look at each other. Once Rei had turned a corner out of their site, Asuka turned to Shinji and said "well that was fucking weird."

In acknowledgement Shinji nodded. It took a couple more seconds before they both stopped thinking about what had just happened. Shinji tried to focus his thoughts, and bring them back to where they were before running into Rei. His legs ached and his feet were tired of holding up his heavy body. Reaching his hand towards Asuka, he started to walk back towards their house.

They came to the front doors and walked up to the elevators. The sign describing them as out of order was gone, and they appeared to be functional. Shinji sighed in relief. He was about to push the button but Asuka grabbed his hand away from it. "Come on, I want to take the stairs!" she announced, walking briskly towards the doors to the stairwell. Shinji stood in front of the elevators for a moment wondering whether he should follow her. He knew he was going to have to, but he did really want to take the elevator instead.

It took them a couple of minutes to walk up to the stairwell at Asuka's floor. Shinji sat down on one of the stairs completely exhausted. Asuka soon joined him. "See, now this is a castle. It's claustrophobic and grey. It's a wonderful aesthetic to hold a person over until they die. It's all very Gothic." Shinji joked, as he remembered how he had felt about it earlier in the day.

He turned his head to look at Asuka, whose face was red. She quickly redirected her gaze from his eyes, something out of the ordinary for Asuka. This whole day was like something out of the twilight zone when it came to her. "What is it?" Shinji asked delicately.

Asuka laughed nervously, "it's just that, I'm remembering what I did in here two days ago."

Shinji smiled, and almost without realizing what he was doing he leaned towards Asuka's ear. Softly, he whispered "you know, we can try that again, this time I promise I'll kiss you." He put his arm around Asuka's shoulder. Her skin was soft and clear, her back was arched.

Asuka did not respond with words. Shinji's hand on her arm started to feel her, and they both became absorbed. She grabbed his hand gently and they intertwined their fingers. Her other hand started to reach down. Shinji's eyes watched it intently. She grabbed the bottom of her skirt at her knees and slowly started to bring it up.

Shinji could feel his breathe become heavier the closer it came to her crotch. His eyes were fixated beyond anything he had experienced before. His right hand grasped her hand firmer. Soon when the skirt was at the top of her thighs, Shinji held his breathe. Slowly, slowly, Asuka's white panties came into view. This time was beyond different than the two days before. This was personal, and mutual, and something Shinji had never experienced before. His stomach was constricting, but he was far too distracted to notice.

When the panties were completely exposed, Asuka's face turned towards Shinji. She whispered lightly, in a coarse voice, "Now it's time for your end of the deal." Moving at the same snail like pace, Shinji moved his mouth towards Asuka's face.

The kiss was an explosion Shinji felt throughout his whole body.

It was nice.

They continued to kiss, never letting go of each other's mouth for more than a few seconds. Their right hands had fused together, and felt more natural like that than the limb had ever felt before. Asuka started to explore Shinji's tongue with her own, and they began to battle to see who could make the other's feel better. Shinji started to feel self conscious of how bad a kisser he was, but this quickly left his mind.

As if it had a mind of its own, Shinji started to move his left hand towards Asuka's lap. It laid on her bare leg for a couple of seconds, before moving towards the panties Asuka had let him see. She was soft, and slightly damp, and as he started to explore a little, Asuka began to moan.

But after a couple of seconds Asuka wiggled out of Shinji's hand and pushed his other hand away from her crotch. Shinji was surprised by this, and was about to apologize but Asuka interrupted him. "Don't you fucking dare apologize, what's it going to take you to stop doing that." There was a silence. "Look, just not right now okay?" And with that Asuka smiled at him.

Shinji tried to search for something to say in his mind, but for once came up empty. "Okay," was all that escaped his mouth.

Asuka rested her head on Shinji's shoulder, and grabbed his hand with the one she had just let go with. "I swear to god, if you put me through what you have in these past three days again, I'm going to castrate you," she said, without even the smallest amount of joking in her voice.

Shinji swallowed hard, but he was used to such threats now. She had been giving them since they were little. But he smiled, because she was still his friend from when they were little, but she something was different today, something he was liking. And if anything, these past couple of days, he had done things, and made decisions, he was pretty proud of himself, even if he had fucked everything up.

Shinji shifted his head to the right.

Asuka squeezed back.

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Author's Notes: So thank you for reading my story! I hope you enjoyed. Please review, I love feedback. This story in its entirety is the most important fanfiction I have ever written. It means a lot to me, all three of the chapters were written in very different parts of my life. I hope you take something from it too.

Here is some Story Notes if you're curious:

This story is an interesting case. You will find all of the three chapters are pretty different from each other despite continuing the same story.

There was one and a half years between the first and second chapter. The third chapter was completed around three years after the second. So there is an obvious change in writing style between that time.

I wrote the first chapter 4 years ago, 1 year before I published it on . Evangelion was my new favorite anime, and I wanted to write something for it. Only, I thought the original was so perfect and personal to the director, I did not want to touch it. Instead, there was the alternate universe in the 26th episode that is not very well developed or complete. I personally think the idea behind the clip was that there were alternative stories to be told, not only the one presented by the show. So I decided I would try to write about that story. I also was pretty devoted to the Asuka/Shinji pairing. I usually did not care much for pairings since I believe they often hurt a person's appreciation of a story. This can be seen in other stories I have done where I try to challenge the idea. But when it comes to Evangelion, I thought the opposite. The pairing of Asuka/Shinji greatly improved someone's experience of Evangelion. So I though I would focus on the pairing, and present how it could have happened differently in this alternative universe.

So I wrote the first chapter as a planned One-Shot. It was originally published on another fanfiction site and never got reviewed, so I decided to move it over to this site a year later. When I put it on I received more reviews than I have ever received for a story. It was only 2,650 words yet it got more reviews than some of my stories which had 20,000 words.

A lot of the reviews asked me to write a continuation, so that summer while I was bored I started to write a small second chapter. Originally I did not know where I wanted to go with it, until I went on a website. It was a pro Rei/Shinji pairing site, and they tried to defend the merits of their pairing. Most of it was kind of silly, but when discussing Shinji and Asuka, they had an interesting point. "If you put two people in a room alone long enough, they will get together" and the more I thought about that idea, the more I agreed with it. Though I will say, I believe they meant it literally, while I am taking it instead figuratively. They are both very lonely people in their minds, but they open up just enough for each other. Their loneliness leads to their relationship. The website was presenting this as a reason the Asuka/Shinji pairing didn't work, but I disagreed with this claim. So I decided I wanted to write a neutral chapter exploring this idea, and what it meant for both of them. The hope was that a person would be able to make their own decision to what it meant. Soon I ended up writing the longest chapter for a story I have ever done.

Later, thinking about the story, I was always proud how well received it was. I started to write a lot recently, and decided I wanted to write a third chapter. I just finished a 40,000 Avatar story, which is quite frankly depressing. Quickly I decided I did not wish to write a depressing story. Instead, I wanted to write something where my characters have fun, but also grow. That where the third one comes from.

Thanks for reading the story notes if you did, and thank you very much to all the people who have reviewed this story. None of my other stories ever got close to this one in reviews, and it meant a lot to me to finally have written something people liked. (Not to say my other stories are bad, hell arguably some are better than this, but I guess they just aren't what people are looking for on )


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